words

Words to live by

He who laughs last laughs best

Thoes that live in a glass house should not throw stones


Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark

One: Don't miss the boat
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah started.
Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six: Build your future on high ground
Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage.The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs the Titanic by professionals.
Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Thanks To
Irving Frank

Famous 1 Liners

I have decided to share with you some of my stock thoughts hope you do well with them: During the past few weeks I have seen many mergers and anticipating them could mean excellent gains in an always volatile market. Because you seem to be stock market mavens, I have decided to share with all of you what I think are some of the more attractive mergers that I am anticipating in the coming year. Whether you choose to follow my sound advice and invest in these mergers is .

1. XEROX and WURLITZER (They're going to make reproductive organs)
2. FAIRCHILD ELECTRONICS and HONEYWELL COMPUTERS (The new company willbe called Fairwell Honeychild)
3. POLYGRAM RECORDS, WARNER BROTHERS and KEEBLER (The new company willbe called Poly-Warner-Cracker)
4. W.R.GRACE CO., FULLER BRUSH CO., MARY KAY COSMETICS, and HALEBUSINESS SYSTEMS: (The company will be called Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace)
5. 3M and GOODYEAR will result in (MMM Good)
6. JOHN DEERE and ABITIBI-PRICE will result in (Deere Abi)
7. HONEYWELL, IMASCO and HOME OIL = (Honey, I'm Home)
8. DENISON MINES, ALLIANCE and METAL MINING (Mine All Mine)
9. 3M, JC PENNEY and THE METROPOLITAN OPERA COMPANY (3 Penney Opera)
10. GREY POUPON and DOCKERS PANTS will be knows as (Poupon Pants)
11. KNOTT'S BERRY FARM and THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR WOMEN (The new company will be called Knott Now)
12. ZIPPO MANUFACTURING, AUDI, DOFASCO and DAKOTA MINING (The newcompany will be called Zip Audi Do-Da)
13. NETSCAPE and YAHOO (Net n'Yaho)

Thanks To
Irving Frank

Thoughts To Ponder
Life Reflections

1 Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your body unprotected.

2 I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

3 I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

4 I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

5 Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

6 I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

7 Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

8 Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

9 You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

10 I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

11 One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

12 They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

13 Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

14 A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

Thanks To
Irving Frank

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